Is this an age thing?

I have been pondering what has been happening in my head over the last couple of months, maybe longer, and wondering if this is a sort of midlife crisis for women? It started with just being miserable in my perfectly fine job. It wasn’t rocket science, I had my own office, I was busy, but yea, I hated working for my micro-managing, hyper-critical boss. I started job hunting after a conversation I had with her in which she said I needed to make some choices – her way of saying find another job since I was so obviously unhappy. I started looking and nothing was appealing to me. I realized I had no idea what I wanted to do. If I could qualify for any job I wanted – what would it be? ………. Yea, I got nothing. I came across an opportunity to sell insurance. That sounded good since I could work from home, control my own hours and pay and also help people. Little did I know that the stress of leaving my perfectly good job would drive me over the edge emotionally. Suddenly I was completely terrified to make phone calls – which are the lifeblood of the work. Terrific. I finally got to the point, between the stress of trying to force myself to do this, and the bills coming up due and no income coming in that I had a bit of a breakdown. I could not stop crying, everything was setting me off. I got to the doctor and got some meds to help level that off, which it did.
Now I just feel completely unmotivated – can barely move at all during the day. But I am not crying – so that is a start I guess.

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~ by wingsunfurling on June 15, 2009.

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