Am I giving up on my dreams?

I left my old company because I wanted a change. I did not know what I wanted so I had to think about what I wanted out of a job, rather than think about what I did as a job. I wanted to work from home because I hated commuting. I wanted to work with people, I wanted to help people. I tried getting into insurance sales. I found that it did not agree with me when I spiraled into such a deep depression that I was sobbing uncontrollably and could barely move for entire days. I never shared any of this with my husband either – at least not for a while. He has no idea how bad I was doing. He knows I have gotten some medication which was a huge help, and that I blame myself for failing at sales. I also blame myself for the financial nightmare we are now facing.

Now I am job hunting and have thrown all of those dreams of what I want from a job out the window. It is sad, but apparently I place a little too much pressure on myself to be in total control of my career like I was in sales. I would much rather someone else be in charge and just sign my paycheck. Hopefully I can find something with flex hours so I can avoid the commute some days…..

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~ by wingsunfurling on June 24, 2009.

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